THE BIG “O”
Let’s talk about sex!
So, I thought since I am moving much of my practice into helping women with hormonal issues and the topic of SEX has come up A LOT it was time to talk about the BIG O and libido?
Did that get your attention?
Did you know 40% of women experience a low libido and disinterest in sex.
Your lack of desire can be rooted in low testosterone/hormone imbalances, dietary imbalance, elevated inflammation, or a mental-emotional imbalances to name a few.
Let’s break down a few things about sex for women in particular before we talk benefits of the orgasm.
Why is your libido low or nonexistent and does it play a part in having sex or an orgasm?
Did you know a low libido is a sign that your hormones could be off?
“Your libido is an indicator of your hormone health. If it is missing, that's a sign that something is off in your system. Sometimes a missing libido is the first sign of significant health issues.” Dr. Jolene Brighten
Some of you may be thinking, “wow my libido has been gone for years!” Well, there is a reason for that and it needs to be addressed. Please consult with me to get your hormones evaluated and let’s get your lifestyle habits in check to rev that beauty back up and going! It is important for your health!
Some common reasons for low libido
Low Testosterone
Low estrogen
Birth Control Pill
Anti-depressant medication
Inflammation
Stress
Adrenal Fatigue
Liver congestion
Post Partum hormone surges
Low Thyroid issues
Auto Immune conditions
Mental and Emotional blocks
Poor partner communication
Past trauma
Self esteem issues
Divorce
Pregnancy
Just to name a few…
Next thought is how important is libido with having sex? Well, I say it is pretty important. A lot of the act of having sex for us women is tied to our limbic system, the emotional club house in our brain. If you are high stress or stressed in general it will greatly affect your libido which will cause you not to feel like getting your groove on.
Over time…. with multiple factors, if you remain stressed it will affect your hormones which in turn lowers the libido which in turn makes having sex the last thing on your mind. Sort of like a vicious cycle.
Disinterest in sex with menopause can also come from hormonal changes that are just not in sync. This needs to be tested and corrected by supplementing what your missing.
We make hormones, it is normal, but the older we get the less we make so adding what we need is TOTALLY NORMAL and very helpful for menopause and hormonal transitions. This can alter that mood of disinterest to interest in sex.
Why hormone balancing can change how you see or want sex? Getting a proper read on your hormones can REALLY help balance your entire body to help you feel like having sex, be ok with having sex and maybe just WANT to have sex!
So what does that look like? We do something called DUTCH testing at the office. It is a very thorough analysis of your hormones via your dried urine. It looks at testosterone, estrogens, progesterone and all their metabolites. It checks cortisol, DHEA, melatonin, some organic acids such as creatinine, B12 and B6, and a few neurotransmitters like dopamine (the pleasure neurotransmitter). Once I get your results back, we will sit down, review it, and map out our plan. These plans are different for every person and custom made for you and your specific needs. They include, diet, supplements, and lifestyle changes needed for your body to upregulate or heal itself naturally. Thus, improving your sex life and so much more! YEAH!
Pain with sex is another huge issue women battle, often not telling anyone. Having painful intercourse absolutely kills libido. Below are a few reasons for pain with intercourse. While sex should ALWAYS be consensual, I understand that sometimes it may not be or has not been and that is just awful. This can leave a neurological scar in your memory, essentially marking sex as painful in your mind. This is something that can be overcome but you may need some support here psychologically. Seek out help. It is important!
Other causes:
Endometriosis
Vulvodynia
Vaginal dryness
UTI
Yeast infection
STI
Pelvic inflammatory disease
Vaginismus
Hypertonic pelvic floor
Vaginal Atrophy-menopause
Hormonal Birth control- THE PILL
Pelvic organ prolapse
Low estrogen
Postpartum
Ok now that we talked about libido and pain with sex let’s talk about the big O and why it needs to be in your life on the regular. Why is having an orgasm SO important to your health?
The orgasm itself. Have you really had one? Have you faked it? Um…. I’m going to go ahead a raise my hand. No shame here because the young 20 something me really didn’t know or understand sex, nor did she know how to communicate what her needs were. That is the truth. If I could go back and tell her it would get better I absolutely would.
What is an orgasm let’s try and define this magical thing? It is when stimulation peaks and there is a neurological and physical body response.
Clitoral orgasm: A clitoral orgasm has a definitive build, a clear climax with pelvic contractions, and then a feeling of descent. It's similar to a penile orgasm.
Cervical/vaginal Orgasm: A cervical orgasm is more along the lines of what we call in Tantra a "full-body orgasm," or an expanded orgasm. Meaning, the build is less linear. While there is an increase of pleasure, rather than it being focused in the clitoris, you feel that spread all over your body and then explode into waves you feel from your head to your toes. This can feel like pleasurable tingling and vibrations throughout your whole body and being, and can keep going for hours, as opposed to a clitoral orgasm, which typically lasts for seconds. If the clitoris is like climbing a mountain, the cervix (and the G-spot for that matter) is like scaling a series of rolling hills. You get to the top of one, then you have a brief plateau, then you climb another, then have a plateau, etc. https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a6896/cervical-orgasm-guide/
Woman can orgasm from clitoral stimulation and vaginal penetration and even labial or other parts of the body stimulation. That’s a lot of places so no reason not to try and figure it out.
BENEFITS FROM THE BIG O!
Here’s a comprehensive list!
1. Increases DHEA-the hormone that helps with aging and apposes cortisol
2. Feel and look younger- HELLO anti aging, and glowing skin
3. Can decrease autoimmune symptoms
4. Reduces anxiety and improves mood
5. Can help headaches and migraines. 47% of women get symptom relief with orgasm
6. Increases circulation in your pelvis- Do you sit for a job? Hemorrhoids, vascular issues, degeneration in discs etc.
7. Decreases stress and improves relaxation
8. Easier periods and regular cycles and less PMS symptoms
9. Boost’s fertility
10. Can help with sleep issues...AMEN!
11. Boosts body Respiration and oxygenation- improves respiration throughout the body to all your organs, glands and cells
12. Increases brain health with bathing the brain in cerebral spinal fluid
13. Boosts parasympathetic- Rest and digest (calms you)
Isn’t that amazing! WE need to orgasm; it is so good for our health even if we don’t feel like it. But girl let me help you feel like it, sure would make something that’s good for you a lot more fun.
My goal is orgasm at least 2x a week. I'm not perfect and have a small baby so this can be hit or miss but I absolutely try and make this a priority.
Here are some miscellaneous Sex Tips (never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be making a sex blog post!)
Vaginal dryness: did you know it is ALWAYS ok to use LUBE…. ALWAYS! You secrete vaginal moisture at different times in your cycle then other times. Some weeks you are dry and that’s ok…it is NORMAL. So, girl do yourself a favor and lube up, EVERYTIME.
Fore play- CAN BE ALL DAY…. let me just say watching your man do the dishes is enough fore play for me. But a text message, taking a walk together, watching a show together, having him do a chore for you can all be fore play. Connecting over your calendars and planning things (yeah, I’m type A this totally works for me.)
Lubes I like:
Tates Miracle conditioner- we sell this at the office (wink wink)
Briefly on natural birth control because as I’m sure you’ve guessed I’m not pro the pill but I am pro women! Be informed and know your options! YOU HAVE CHOICES!
Due to the insane number of side effects and the over prescribing of the pill I decided it is not for me. I choose to practice FAM- fertility awareness method and I personally use the lady-comp and have for years with GREAT success avoiding pregnancy. I do now have a 10-month-old baby that was conceived with the lady- comp guidance.
Here are other excellent options below.
Fertility Awareness Planning/Options (Natural and safe birth control)
Apps and devices available that when used correctly are very effective in preventing pregnancy. These do not prevent against STI’s or STD’s
Naturalcycles.com (2 out of 100 got pregnant)
Daysy fertility monitor
Lady-comp.com (24 out of a 100)
If you are in peri-menopause and transitioning to menopause but aren’t sure if you can still get pregnant or need to use some type of contraceptive there is a way your doctor can help you know. If you have not had a period in over a year you are in menopause. However, if your periods are sporadic go have your FSH (Follicular Stimulating) hormone tested 3 months in a row. If yours is above 30 ml three months in a row you most likely can no longer conceive.
Sources:
https://drbrighten.com/why-does-sex-hurt/
https://drbrighten.com/post-birth-control-syndrome-brighten-protocol/
https://drbrighten.com/seed-cycling-for-hormone-balance/
https://drbrighten.com/treating-pcos-symptoms-with-the-pill-or-even-better-without/
https://drbrighten.com/supplements-for-pcos/
https://drbrighten.com/period-gone-missing-birth-control-pill/
https://drbrighten.com/pcos-inflammation-insulin/
https://drbrighten.com/birth-control-pcos-symptoms/
https://drbrighten.com/non-hormonal-birth-control-alternatives/
